What’s Actually Yours to Carry
The other day I found myself spiraling over something small. A friend hadn’t replied to a message, and within minutes my mind filled with stories. Did I say something wrong? Are they upset with me? Did I come across the wrong way?
Half an hour later, I was still pacing through a narrative of my own making. Nothing had actually happened, yet I felt unsettled, almost panicked.
It struck me how much of my life has been spent this way, caught in loops of worry about things I could not possibly control. The way people see me. The future I cannot predict. The past I cannot undo. Even the weather or traffic, as if my stress could somehow change the skies or clear the roads.
And every time, the result is the same: I end up exhausted by a fight I never needed to enter.
The Things That Aren’t Ours
If you strip it down, most of life sits firmly outside our grasp.
We cannot control what people say or believe.
We cannot control how they treat us.
We cannot control time, age, or outcomes, no matter how hard we prepare.
It is humbling, even a little uncomfortable, to admit how little influence we truly have. But maybe that discomfort is the point. Maybe it is an invitation to stop wasting energy on battles that were never ours.
The Things That Are
What we can control is smaller, almost unglamorous, but it is where our real power hides.
We get to choose our actions.
We get to set our boundaries.
We get to decide who we let influence us.
We get to guide the tone of our self-talk, and the way we speak to others.
We get to choose how we respond when life inevitably throws us something hard.
It is not much compared to the vast ocean of what we cannot touch. But it is enough to steer our days toward peace or chaos.
A Quiet Shift
When I caught myself spinning over that unanswered message, I paused. I asked: Is this mine to carry? Or am I reaching for something that was never meant to be mine?
The answer was obvious. I could not control whether my friend replied, or when, or how. But I could control the story I told myself in the meantime. I could choose patience. I could redirect my energy back to what was already in front of me.
It was not a dramatic breakthrough, just a tiny shift. But the tiny shifts add up.
Freedom in the Small Circle
The more I practice this, the lighter I feel. Not because life gets easier, but because I stop dragging weight that is not mine.
Letting go of control is not giving up. It is clarity. It is remembering what belongs to me and what does not. It is choosing to place my energy into what I can shape, my discipline, my peace of mind, my response, and leaving the rest to be what it is.
And in that letting go, life feels a little freer. A little steadier. A little more mine.
