The Quiet Strength of Admitting You Don’t Know
Leaders who admit what they don’t know make space for others to shine.
The first time I heard a leader say “I’m not sure,” I was caught off guard. It was years ago, in a conference room where the air felt heavy with expectation. A senior executive, known for her sharp answers, was asked a complex technical question.
She didn’t try to bluff. She didn’t stall. She simply smiled and said, “I’m not sure. Who here knows more about this?”
For a second the room froze. Then a young engineer spoke up with a thoughtful and clear explanation. By the end, people were leaning in, trading ideas like equals. That engineer later told me it was the first time he felt his voice truly mattered.
That moment stuck with me because it felt rare. Leaders are often taught that confidence comes from always having an answer. But real confidence is knowing you do not have to.
Why admitting uncertainty works
- It shows honesty. People can sense when you are guessing, and owning what you do not know builds trust.
- It invites collaboration. By leaving space, you create room for others to step in.
- It reduces pressure. You set a tone where curiosity is valued more than perfection.
How to say it without losing authority
- Pair it with curiosity: “I’m not sure, how would you approach this?”
- Point to expertise in the room: “You’ve handled this before, what’s your perspective?”
- Close the loop: Once the input is gathered, follow through with a clear next step.
Extra ways to strengthen this habit
- Model it early. The sooner your team sees you admit uncertainty, the sooner they feel safe to do the same.
- Capture what you learn. Turn these moments into shared knowledge so the whole group benefits.
- Balance humility with decisiveness. Saying you do not know is the start of finding an answer, not a reason to delay.
- Notice when others do it. Acknowledge and reinforce the courage it takes for a colleague to admit the same.
- Practice outside of work. In daily life, try answering “I don’t know, but I’ll find out” to make it feel natural.
The leaders who earn lasting trust are not the ones who know everything. They are the ones who make it safe to learn together. And sometimes that begins with three simple words: I’m not sure.
